Wednesday, December 8, 2010

A BJ for some Change?

Well I work in downtown Philly and I usually leave work around 5pm. As I normally do, I rush out of the office building and make my way to the train station while taking in the sights and sounds of the busy Chestnut Street. On this particular day, I was feeling extremely happy and cheerful because I would get to go home and workout, which is one of my most recent acquired passions. As I made my way, I noticed a bum sitting at a door step. He was wearing a black, worn down, dirty Eagles coat. He was dark skinned, had a nasty looking beard, large bags under his eyes, and a beany covering some of his short nappy hair. As I got closer I noticed that the people in front of me, as they would pass by him, would look at him as if he were calling them and then they would look away and keep walking. Of course I already knew that he was going to ask for money. And sure enough as it became my turn to walk by him I was ready to stare at him and say "No, sorry!" Of course he asked me for change, in a very raspy low voice, and I continued to say as planned, "No, sorry!" However, to my surprise he had a little bit more to offer. As I began to turn my head away from his stare five words came out of his mouth and into my ears: I will suck your d$ck!!! Yes people, he offered to give me a blow job for change. It took me a couple of seconds to fully comprehend what was just offered to me. I almost lost my step and routine flow with this massive confusion that was going through my head. I had an entire conversation in my head before I could react. It went something like: What the...? Did he really just offer to blow you? Are you hearing things? And then I continue to talk to myself in Spanish cause I thought that hearing myself in Spanish would help me overcome the shock! After snapping out of it, I was like 20 steps ahead of where he had been and I looked back and he was now standing up with his arms outstretched at me!...Did he want a hug? OF COURSE NOT!!! That's when I began to laugh like I haven't laughed in a long time. So now, do you appreciate why I love people watching? Although this experience has probably scarred me for life, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Come on people, take a risk! Watch People! (P.S. I did not take him up on that offer, for all those weirdos out there that would question my morality!)

1 comment:

  1. hahaha. You freak! You are just a creeper. Admit it, you were flattered to have a man offer you a BJ! You probably starred at me when I was your roommate too. haha

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