Christmas Shopping Nightmare!!!

So I normally love Christmas and the entire season because of the parties, food, music, lights, and all the good times spent with family. But as of late, I have come to the realization that I hate Christmas shopping! Honestly, whoever decided to get into people's heads that they NEED to go out and buy gifts for people got a little carried away. Three things happened to me last night as I was doing some last minute shopping that brought me to the verge of insanity. So the first thing happened while my mom and I were waiting in line to pay for a couple of things my mom had gotten. Through the corner of my eye I saw an older lady with white messy hair and glasses coming towards us. I didn't pay close attention to her but when she finally got closer I realized that she had no intention of going to the back of the line. She pretended like we weren't even standing there. She kept looking around and inching closer and closer behind the people that were paying at the time. I could not believe her. For a moment I though, maybe she is just going to ask a question, but then I saw that she had a couple of articles of clothes in her hand. Then I thought, maybe she is just crazy and it will probably be better to just let her go in front of us and not cause her to go crazy on us. Well, those thoughts quickly turned into suspiscions of racism. Think about it, she was white (no offense to all my white readers out there), had a stuck up look, and she didn't acknowledge our existense. Well, that just got me even angrier and more determined to get revenge. I began to talk louder to my mom saying things like: People are sooo rude when they cut in line. Then continuing to say: So much for the Christmas spirit when even old people haven't learned what that is. And finally, She will go to hell! Oh yes I said all those things. I thought I was going to feel better because maybe she might have heard me, but the dang woman had a freakin hearing aid which she probably had off to not hear what people said to her. At this point I just wanted to tackle her to the ground. However, there would have been too many witnesses. So what did I do, I stood my ground and let her go in front of me! I know I know, I'm a push over; but that old lady will get what's coming to her: DEATH!
The second potentially deathly event of the night was inside of the Hollister store. Don't get me wrong all you Hollister shopper, well actually I don't care if you get me wrong or get offended, but seriously: Who shops at that store?! The store is so rediculously dark, it has the smell of a sweaty teenager who put way too much cologne, and everyone and everything looks and acts the same. It's like being in high school all over again. Anyways, we went in to by a gift and as soon as we walked in, two girls working there jumped right in front of us and began to attack us with words. I don't mean attack as in being mean to us or insulting, but these two girls were like: "Welcome to Hollister. I hope you guys have a great time with us. Please check the totally awesome new Cali gift section for great and cheap gift ideas, If you guys have any questions ask me or her but preferably me cause i'm cooler. HAHAHAHA anyways, is there anything specialy that you guys are looking for? we have all the coolest and latest fashion at cheap discounted seasonal prices. What are you guys looking for, let me know and I will show you! HAHAHA so what will it be?!" OMG I honestly felt like my brain had just turned into liquid after hearing those two dumb girls talk and laugh. PLus adding that awful stench made my head spin. I had forgotten how to speak! All I was able to say, we know what we want. Take me to where those things are! One of the little dumb slave girls there took me directly to where the items were located but not before taking us for this long walk through what seemed like a maze of clothes and young workers who would not stop saying: Hi!!! welcome to Hollister!!! Holy shiz, I think all those people are on drugs. Anyways, we got what we wanted to got the heck out of there. It was so nice to see light again and have fresh air flowing through my lungs again. Also, I felt like 100 times smarter after getting out. So a piece of advice to all you out there, if you are feeling down and feel like you can't accomplish anything because you aren't doing so well in school or think that you are dumb, please visit your local Hollister store and I promise you that all your negative thoughts about yourself with change!
Finally, as I was looking through some items at a Macys I was distracted by an woman who was a couple of feet away. The woman seemed to be in a desperate and almost frantic state looking through some Christmas ornament. I couldn't help but stare at her as she digged through the stack of ornaments. She looked so disturbed and upset. Every now and then her face would wrinkly up and her lips would twitch. I began to wonder what the heck was wrong with this lady. Was ornament shopping that stressful? Were her children being held captive till she returned with the ornament the kidnappers wanted? I don't know but it was scaring me. As I continued to look at her, I was shocked by what happened next. It began as a low growl and turned into a combination of both loud and quick bursts of mini explosions. And no I am not talking about the bomb explosions or suicided bombers, but the explosions that come out of someone's butt hole! Yes, the woman was farting. My eyes, I am sure, were huge! I could not believe that a couple of feet away from me was this woman farting like she was in her bathroom at home or better yet a fart contest. As she farted, she still kept looking through ornaments like nothing was happening. Once the explosion was over, she touched her belly, coughed and sped walked out of sight! I guess her crazy and frantic facial expressions had a reason and a trigger behing them. I should have known and gotten out of there before anything had happened. What the heck is wrong with some people? If you have such huge gas problems, stay at home!
Well that's all my venting for today! MERR CHRISTMAS!!!